How many of you have ever encountered the hospitality of a Malaysian driver on the road? And I mean that in a sarcastic way. (I can almost see your hands raised up from way up here) I want to share with you what I have encountered, both as a victim, and as a bully myself!
Before I go on, allow me to give a comment to all of you Malaysian drivers out there, the proper way to overtake a slower vehicle in front of you. There are a few unwritten rules that, if broken, is considered a blatant violation of your personal rights as a road-tax paying road user in Malaysia.
RULE NUMBER ONE!!
Don’t lar fucking use highbeam on other drivers! The highbeam is designed for one reason; to highlight the road in front of you in very dark environments. Only on very few occasions when a high beam is acceptable, e.g. to warn other motorists of a road-block or speed-trap ahead. Even that is a totally different signal altogether (the signal should be turned on and off in a fast staccato manner), and must be done at a reasonable distance from the car in front of you.
RULE NUMBER TWO
Stop tail-gating me lar, you moron! If you want me to give way to you, this is the very last thing you should do. There are a lot of other ways to make people give way, but tail-gating is by far the most rude-est of them all, except for using highbeam of course (see Rule Number 1). You can argue that you want to make use of the slipstream generated from my wake, but what slipstream can you make at 110 km/h? How do you judge if the car in front of you is too near to you? Well think of it this way. If the car in front of you suddenly comes to a full stop (perhaps a pile-up, not impossible really) you only have seconds before you hit it. That ‘seconds’ is how far away you should be separated. I give myself at least 3 seconds.
And so armed with these two rules, let me explain to you what happened to me. I was on the PLUS highway, driving my wife-then-girlfriend’s Kembara from Melaka back to KL. At that time the highway was still having dual-lanes, i.e. two to and two fro. I was overtaking another slower vehicle, therefore I was on the fast lane. If you know a Kembara, you’d know how long it takes to get to higher speeds. Suddenly out of nowhere, one stupid Wira came charging at me at a high speed from behind, winking his highbeam at me. Excuse me, I am overtaking a vehicle here, how can I possible give way?! As I was about to finish my overtaking routine, the fucker zoomed pass me on the left lane and positioned himself in front of me. Then he did the most unbelievable thing; he stepped on the brake as if to make an emergency stop, and then quickly picked up speed again! I was so surprised by his move, I had to make an emergency stop as well, and the Kembara skidded like nobody’s business! That fucker was gone in an instance. I have had more encounters with other road bullies but this is by far the worse I have ever seen!
I have promised you a story where I was the bully. It happened very recently, as recent as February this year! I have just changed a new set of tyres on my Wira, two pairs of Yokohama A-Drive. They are a really good set of tyres, with incredible grip on both wet and dry roads. With the quietness to boot too!
Anyway I was driving with my wife back to our home from the Mines using the Besraya Highway. It was raining very heavily, and there was a lot of slow moving vehicles around. Myself, having the new set of tyres, and my own experience driving in the rain, drove relatively quickly. After the UPM exit, towards UNITEN the highway is only a dual-lane, and I was overtaking a row of slower vehicles. Suddenly a huge 4WD vehicle came rapidly from the rear, again with the impolite flashing. The vehicle was so close to me, threathening to ram me. Okay dude, you’ve ask for it. I tapped quickly and lightly on the brake, and I glanced at the rear view mirror, just in case the fucker can’t stop in time. I almost laughed in glee as I saw his headlights swayed a little! And I swore I heard his tyres squealed in protest amidst the pouring rain outside! Ahhhh, nothing sounds sweeter than the screeching sound of revenge!
Being the considerate driver that I am, (ahem) I completed my overtaking manoeuvre (within the speed limit, i.e. s…l…o…w…l…y) and let that fucker pass me. As he sped ahead, I managed to give him the international sign language of vulgarity through my window without even glancing at him. DAMN, it feels so good to be so evil sometimes!
So what story do you have about our beloved Malaysian drivers attitude?
Drivers that slow down to look at the accident at the OPPOSITE lane and causing traffic jam that last for hours! Typical Malaysian!
Yes, I know that type. Happens every time there is an accident. I hate that too!!