Ijok, tranquil but queer….

Posted: 20th April 2007 by Jacky Yong in Current Affairs, Silly me

News of the recent nominations of the Ijok state seat suddenly reminded me of people staying there whom are close to me. I have been there when my cousin got himself married. I still remembered the wedding ceremony as extremely wacky!

The one thing inseparable from chinese weddings is the opening of the door to the bride’s room. For those who are not familiar with this culture, this is where the fun comes in for both the bride and the groom. One can see where the corruption in our nation comes from. From the moment the groom reaches the bride’s house in his car, he will have to “bribe” the bride’s brother before the door can be opened. Once he reaches the door of the house or the room, more ang pows are given. Most of the times however, the groom need to do myriads of other embarrassing and awkward “stunts” before he is allowed a passage.

In my cousin’s case, after the mandatory angpows were given, they were still not satisfied. We have exhausted all ideas, so we had to trick them. I forgot what exactly was the trick, but the door was opened slightly. Seeing this chance, all of us pushed on the door! There was like 7 or 8 boys there, all big and muscular. We were confident of getting entry this time.

WE COULDN’T BE MORE WRONG!! As soon as the door creaked open about a foot, we felt the door being pushed back in! We were literally being pushed away like little puppies!

After that, the ladies were furious, and made sure that we dried our wallets before they allowed us inside the room. And there lied the answer. A tall, humongous girl was inside. We had another cousin with us, and he was at least 6 feet tall. This young lady is at least half-a-head taller than he is! Dun play play!

Ijok has a history of coming out with very weird eccentric individuals. This guy comes from there (or that area) and he’s a bit cuckoo. Now this is the kinda guy I’d like to see run Ijok in the next election! Once elected, I can foresee some vast changes to the sleepy town. He’s make roads out of stringbuilders and house are instantiated from the bungalow object.

Here’s a toast to Ijok!

Prom Night

Posted: 16th April 2007 by Jacky Yong in Computers

I got myself a 430EX last month, but I needed practice on an assignment before I can be assured of my skill. Therefore I offered my service for free to a friend who is attending her prom night.

I read all about using a flash unit properly, I even made a DIY diffuser by binding some styrofoam papers onto the flash unit like this:
diybounce.jpg
Read the rest of this entry »

AXED-P?

Posted: 12th April 2007 by Jacky Yong in Computers, Current Affairs, Silly me

Is this the end of the road for our trusted friend, the Windows XP? Is ol’ Bill so cruel as to cut the line for our beloved operating system once and for all? What used to be “X-perience”, could well be “aXed-Project”.
Does it affect me? To a certain extend, yes. I still run XP under virtualization in Ubuntu. Should Micro$oft decides to discontinue support and patches for XP, I can always restart the virtual XP from a clean state whenever I encounter glitches. No big deal.
Ubuntu has a shorter life-span (18 months) than Windows (XP lived an amazing 5 years before the Vista came out, considered very old in the fast-paced world of software). But this is a blessing, trust me. It only means that a new operating system is born every few years. The latest Ubuntu re-incarnation, the Feisty Fawn is due on 19th April. Can’t wait to download it! (Yes, Micro-Softies may not be familiar with the mode of operation in Linux world. We download EVERYTHING without guilt. =)

Self-confessed Ubuntu Freak

Posted: 11th April 2007 by Jacky Yong in Computers

I once complained to a friend that I hate everything Microsoft, the .NET programming, the MS SQL, even ol’ Bill himself. He sarcastically remarked that if I walk the talk, then I shouldn’t be using Windows at home too. AH-HA, GOTCHA!! I actually don’t! Well, not mostly anyway.
I’m talking about Linux, specifically Ubuntu, one of the more than 50 flavours of Linux in the world, and how it has changed my computing life forever!
Read the rest of this entry »

Wanna do it with me?

Posted: 25th March 2007 by Jacky Yong in Computers

I once read of a very funny commentary that compares a photographer with a hooker. It goes something like this:
“(Professional) photographers are like hookers: at first we started doing it because we liked it and it felt good, then we kept doing it but only for our friends, and NOW we’re still doing it but are charging money for doing it!”

-Dean Collins-

Hell yeah, that felt good! Hey, I have the “tools” for it, and you sure have the demand for it. Win-win situation I’d say! So anyone out there wants to let me do it to them? 😉 *wink wink*

What’s wrong with the squatting pan?

Posted: 15th March 2007 by Jacky Yong in Silly me

Today I am going to talk about a very revolting subject. So boys and girls, if you’re still having your meal, please stop reading this journal immediately and wash your eyes with lots of anti-bacterial solution.

Some may ask, what is a squatting pan? A squatting pan, my friends, is a politically correct name for a hole dug in the ground and you squat over it to release …. , well, whatever things that needs to be released from your bowels.

OK, so what in the world is wrong with a squatting pan? Nothing, if you ask me. They are a lovely invention. It works right out of the box, sort of like Macintosh computers. But there are plenty of travel site and journals from those “gwailos” that wrote dreadfully about this modest and immaculate contraption. But the fact is, the squatting position is a more natural posture while we are ….. er, you know…. defecating. When you squat, the feces travels more smoothly along our anal tract. When assuming a sitting position, our colon tends to get compressed and leads to harder defecation process. I am speaking from experience here (ahem!), but research also shows that a sitting posture leads to incomplete defecation. (That explains that “something-is-still-there” feeling in my home toilet after doing my morning ritual everyday. Hmmmm ….. )

There has to be some element of truth in it. Our ancestors dug holes in the ground and do it there before covering them up. Samples of fossilized feces has been dug up and examined. So squatting is mother nature’s proper way intended for us humans to defecate.

Although one would assume that the sitting toilet came from the western world, it actually first appear in India, from the Harappa civilization during 2500 BC. Archaeological excavation also confirmed the existence of the sitting toilet in Egypt at around 2100 BC. From then on there is no turning back. Sir John Harrington designed the original flush toilet, but it wasn’t until Alexander Cummings patented his design, the modern flush toilet became mainstream in the late 18th century.

The way I see it, sitting toilet only facilitates the disabled and the elderly. My parents once complained of leg cramps for squatting for too long in the squatting toilet. But give me the squatting toilet anytime for doing the big business. It’s much more hygienic in my opinion, given the poor condition of public toilets here in Malaysia. No contact with the cheek of your bum is necessary, unlike sitting toilets. Back in my previous company, there is a choice of two squatting toilets and one sitting toilet in the men’s room. I also hate that wet-butt feeling whenever you dropped a BIG one on the water-filled sitting bowl. (I’m sure all of you have experienced that before too). Add that to the fact that you most probably will urinate first before or during releasing anything, so the splashed water could contain urine and bits of loose feces! EEEUUUWWW!!!

Unfortunately squatting pans are often put on the side-line in favour of the sitting types in modern housing projects in Malaysia. My house has three toilet, all of them are equipped with the sitting type.

Hmmmphhh …. seems that I will have to adapt myself to the constant splash of wetness on my anus. Looks like I will have to release my feces at the shallower end, bracing for a smaller splash. Or hope that I pee after everything is over!

And while we’re on this subject, I would like to put an argument. Why do we need to use toilet papers anyway? I don’t like the use of them, I thought they are crappy, dirty and unhygienic. I would much prefer the spray of water from a water bidet. Some cheaper brands of toilet papers tears easily. When you wipe too eagerly, you tend to push right through them and soil your fingers. YUUUCKK!! Some brands are also so rough, they qualify as sand papers! Whoops, there goes three more strands of my anal hair.

By the way, I clean up after my baby girls using just warm water and my finger. Anything else would be just too harsh on her skin. But of course, I make sure I clean my hands properly after that!

Wat-er load of crap!

Posted: 6th March 2007 by Jacky Yong in Silly me
Tags: , , , , , ,

A week before Chinese New Year of 2007, my relative, my father’s brother to be exact, who stays way over in Ijok (somewhere in Kuala Selangor, for those who are geographically challenged), expressed their intention to come over to my place. Their over-eagerness seems very suspicious to me. My baby girl was already 6 months old at that time, and they have never come over to look at her before, so why now?

It was when my mum told me that they are selling a sort of water alkaline machine that confirmed my suspicion. Their machine costs up to RM3400, while I saw a decent Panasonic water alkalizer machine for only RM2200! What a rip-off!!

As with all the other direct-selling tactics, they made themselves comfortable around us. They joked with us, asked us how we have been, and they being our close relative, we easily fell into their comfort zone. Then I went to the kitchen to prepare some more water for them (to drink, no more). When I came back to them, I was surprised at what they have already arranged on the table! Bottles of clear water, labeled with mineral water, energy water, RO water and their alkaline water. Stacks of brochures were also presented neatly, as if I was suddenly standing on a Citibank credit card booth in Tesco! Only this time there was no pretty girl giving me the brochures!

They started doing all sorts of experiments on the water. The standard stuffs, pH test, neutrality test, mixing water with oil test. Those tests will surely generate a lot of ohhhs and ahhhhhs from those aunties, but come on! You can do much better than that!

It took me a while to nail it into their thick skull that I will never purchase their machine. They had all sorts of dirty tactics. They claimed that Panasonic’s version uses aluminum plates, not platinum, and rants about platinum being so strong, it is used in space shuttles (to that I say “Bullshit!”) and stuffs like that. They even quickly offered to “put the machine there and you don’t need to pay us money [yet]”. To that I slowly explained to them, I do not want them to come back here all the way from Ijok to dismantle the machine again. Nice try Uncle, but you’re getting on my nerves. After much haggling, pushing and shoving (my uncle actually went outside to light up his cigarettes a few times!) they finally gave in, and went back with their machine, like a droopy-eared puppy.

Not satisfied with my own arguments, and to give them a benefits of doubt, I went online again, searching for the alkaline water. And the truth hit me right between the eyes.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ALKALINE WATER!!!!

Alkaline water takes advantage of people like us who learn about pH, alkali and acidity and how to neutrality works back in school. But look further and you actually find more erroneous claims. Such as the acidity of water itself. Pure H2O cannot be split into H+ and OH components just like that and expect them to keep their liquid state. If they do, that is electrolysis. In order for them to keep an acid or alkaline state, some sort of ions must be present. Where does this ions come from? From dissolved matters in the water, like calcium chloride. The alkaline water that the machine produce, is actually no other than calcium hydroxide. The acidic water, get this, is a dilute solution of hypochlorous acid, HOCl. This acid is a powerful oxidizing agent and disinfectant. In the presence of sodium ions, the resulting solution is known as sodium hypochlorite. This is the main ingredient of ordinary household bleaches such as Chlorox. Their user manual recommends using this acid water to wash toilets, your food and even your face. Of course it cleans well, you are using BLEACH to clean your face!!

Another simple argument. What is the alkaline level of their water? About pH 10. Do you know the acid level of our stomach’s gastric juice? pH 2!!! By the time that water arrives at the stomach, all of it would have been neutralized!! In fact too much of alkaline level in our digestive system will only disrupt the normal amino acid and other enzyme activity too. Of course my uncle argues that since this water molecule is small, it gets absorbed so fast, 50% of it never reaches the stomach! What an absurd claim!

Which brings me to another one of their silly myth. That their water molecule is very small, they form covalent bonds with 6 in a group, forming what looks like water crystals. Err….. if my form 5 teacher teaches me correctly, and I’m sure she does, water only forms crystal when they are in solid form, e.g. ice or snow. Well to be fair, they do form covalent bonds in groups of 6, but only for like pico-seconds. Duhhh!!!

(http://www.chem1.com/CQ/ionbunk.html)

(http://www.wellness.com.au/Home/Comparisons/AlkalineIonisers/tabid/37/De…)

To sum it up, alkaline water is nothing but a deliberate marketing ploy, concocted by some wacko “health experts” who just wants to cash in on the fad. Yes, it is true that the technology came from Japan , technology that has long since been abandoned by their government 10 years ago and banned as misleading the consumer. Bear in mind that not all things Japanese are high-tech. They are also the same people who still believes that your personality and destiny are determined by your blood type!

There are rebuttals on those who are staunch supporters of ionized water. I never bother to read them though.

So there, read the articles, read your chemistry and measure your own wallet. As for me, I am settling for the RM300 carbon based filter anytime. I have been drinking that water for the pass 20 years, and so far there are no side effects. I am most likely to die from some freak airplane accident than from sickness of consuming too much non-alkalized water anyway. So why bother?

Quack science or miracle elixir? You decide.

Edit 26 Feb 2009: To be fair, I read the rebuttal claim above, and believe me, try as I might to read it with an open mind, I still do not find any solid convincing proof to say that alkaline water (if it exists at all) is beneficial to a human’s health. All the cells in my body that has ever attended the previous 20 years of chemistry lesson of my life could not come to agree with the existence of this water. If you understand ionization, it’s a highly unstable process of stripping an atom of its electron. Ionization happens easier in gaseous state than it does in liquid state, due to the simple fact of distance between each molecule. Once a molecule or atom becomes ionized, it quickly re-attaches itself to an oppositely charged molecule to attain electrical equilibrium. The fact that the distance between water molecule is so close to one another greatly reduce the chance of these H+ and OH ions separating from one another. That is another reason why I think an air-ionizer might be better for us than does a water ionizer. Hmmmm …..

Edit 17 March 2009 : More comments are coming in to defend the credibility of this miracle water. And I shot them all down like moths flying near a candle. Why are all these people so concerned about this alkaline water? One reason I can think of is that they are the losers who bought this crap home and they are now in their post-purchase withdrawal symptom. You can find them in consumer behavious that says that they need assurance that what they bought (perceived performance) is what they had intended to receive (consumer’s expectation). So they come browsing the internet and saw my website denouncing the existance of such product and became furious! Can’t blame them.

I relate this alkaline water thing to the hydrogen fuel thing for cars. A lot has been researched and developed on this technology. This technology works, but not in the way that you think that it works. Contrary to popular belief, hydrogen DOES NOT power your internal combustion engine (unlike the BMW Hydrogen 7, which by the way, is real and cost over USD$118,000!). All it does is to make your existing hydro-carbon combustion more complete, and thus, you get a more powerful and fuel efficient engine. However due to some over-enthusiastic people who hopes to make a quick buck out of this hype, souped up all sorts of false information to convince unsuspecting consumers. The problem with these (the alkaline water thingy and this hydrogen as fuel thingy) are that they are sprinkled with a few simple scientific facts that sounded intelligent and makes a lot of sense to the simple minded consumers. They are simply not aware that the actual thing making them work are not what it seems (more complete burning of their fuel, or in the case of the alkaline water, simple filtering of impurities and germs), or just plain simple placebo effect. Believe it or not? Measure your own wallet and your need, and make a wise decision from there.

Auspicious Year of the Boar

Posted: 3rd March 2007 by Jacky Yong in Computers

The inevitable has to happen. For the past few weeks, I have been preparing for it. It’s like the build-up energy within the tectonic plates waiting to be unleashed into the next Great Earthquake of the century.

And it did happen three days ago!!

……. my 9-year-old-green Iswara’s odometer clocked 188,888 km on the road! Exactly 9 years and 4 days after we purchased the green monster.

Four years ago, the odometer turned 88,888 km. It happened in Ulu Yam. I was driving with my sister to Kampar (my old hometown) for the Chinese New Year Celebration, from Batu Caves , went through the winding road, skipping the traffic-jam-prone town of Rawang , using the trunk road all the way. Had I stopped and bought a 4D number, I was sure that I would have strike it rich!

I have been bringing my camera to capture that event, and to see where I will be at that moment. It has to be auspicious. This time, I wanted to know where that place will be. Will it be my office? Or in the middle of nowhere from my house to work, in Cyberjaya?

Coincidently it happened right when I stopped in front of my house in Seri Kembangan!! (See picture)

MyHouse

And here’s a close up …
Closeup

No superimposition. This picture is genuine. You might not see the details so clearly, but I can assure you, it’s 188,888 km. Of course that also took into consideration that at one time, my odometer stopped working for a few hundreds kilometers, but who cares?

Anybody interested to buy 4D? Or my car? Or my house? =D

YOU’RE THE MAN!!!

Posted: 15th January 2007 by Jacky Yong in Computers, Current Affairs
Tags:

Last year’s Person of the Year was a collective entity: YOU. This means everyone on the internet community who has contributed to what is called Web 2.0 . The selection marks the few times that a group of people is selected as their yearly honour, the others being The WhistleBlowers , The American Women and many others. It is very obvious why this is so, with the sudden boom of user created contents as opposed to contents supplied by the big shots corporates of last centuries. Think social networking sites like Friendster, MySpace and many others, social bookmarking sites (Digg, del.icio.us), torrents, blogs, photo sharing (flickr, Picasa) and videos (YouTube, JumpCut and VideoEgg) Nowadays I rarely browse static site anymore. Contents are dynamic, fluid and entertaining. You never run dry of information  or news.
Check out the Two Chinese Boys, a pair of testosterone-charged young chinese boys who have way too much time in their dorm. They have their lip-syncing antics uploaded in YouTube as well.
With the plethora of cheap camera-phones and webcams, almost anyone can make an MTV nowadays. You’d better also see “Numa Numa,” which stars a chubby young man in his New Jersey bedroom lip-syncing to an insipid but weirdly catchy Romanian pop song.
News take on a different meaning with this revolution. We are no longer limited to what is served on RTM or TV3 or other terrestrial or satellite TV stations. Independent news are abundant online (Malaysia Kini, Jeff Ooi). The recent LDP toll hike protest was not covered extensively on normal newspaper, radio or TV network, rather they were abundant on those alternative news source.
Open source softwares are considered in the same revolution as Web 2.0 as well. It’s written by the community, for the community. I’m using Ubuntu on my laptop. I was influenced by a nerd back in my RHB days. Once I installed it, I never looked back. As soon as I get my ass off programming in .Net, I will format my desktop to Ubuntu as well.
Not all are a bed of roses in Web 2.0; it could turn ugly as well. In a well known case in South Korea, a modern day witch-hunt was launched against Dog-Shit-Girl who apparently let her dog do its big business on a train. The community immediately identified her and her university where she studied. She suffered immense humiliation and reportedly she dropped from the university.
Missed last night’s episode of SmallVille? No problem. Just point your torrent clients to any of the many torrent hosts and you can catch it in HDTV format, no less. Want to show your family in China how your baby girl looks like? Relax, upload it to a website and you’re good to go.
Not convinced? Then why are you reading my blog anyway?
😛
So give yourselves a round of applause and a pat on your back. YOU deserve it!

Jacky Wacky

Posted: 8th January 2007 by Jacky Yong in Computers, Silly me

I was surprised that I was honourably mentioned in one of my ex-colleague’s blog! Cool! He’s a totally wacky dude, his momma must have dropped him when he was a baby and now he has permanent brain damage. Like me, he’s a techie, a graduate from the National University of Nerdheads. He drinks Java as coffee, wears a Ruby as his bling bling, and sings in C# keys. (VB.Net and IIS are just so boring, aren’t they?) So I am compelled to also point a link to this wacko. Click here for some anti-keseronokan fun.